When my 9-year-old son Tyler came home raving about his new friend, Daniel, I was thrilled. Tyler can struggle to make friends, so hearing him talk non-stop about the bike trails, swimming pool, kayaking, and tree forts he wanted to enjoy at Daniel’s house was music to my ears.

“Wow!” I responded, “That’s a lot of cool stuff to do! I think I want to be friend’s with Daniel.”

Tyler rolled his eyes at me and then added, “yeah, he lives in a nudist neighborhood so he does all of those things naked!”

I froze while Tyler continued to ramble on about Daniel, but all I could do was hear “nudist” and “naked” and think horrible things about Daniel’s parents. I mean, what kind of parents would raise their kid in a neighborhood with creepers and perverts?

What’s funny is Tyler didn’t say it with any hesitation or weirdness. To him, it was just another fun fact, like “Daniel has a trampoline” or “Daniel has a dog named Sammy.” But for me, it was a huge red flag. All I could think about was: What does that even mean for kids? For sleepovers? For safety? And sadly, how do I keep this Daniel and his family from getting to close with Tyler. This was not a friendship I was going to foster.

And then Tyler dropped the real bombshell: “He invited me for a sleepover next weekend! I can’t wait to go!” And to Tyler’s credit, we were always so happy when he made a friend that he was right to assume the answer would be yes, because in nearly every other instance, it would’ve been. But not now.

No way.

My brain did somersaults. I laughed nervously and said, “We’ll talk about it tomorrow” hoping to buy some time to justify saying no.

That night, I went down a rabbit hole of forums, family nudism sites, articles, and personal stories. I saw pictures of ordinary-looking families doing ordinary things—gardening, hiking, swimming—just without clothes. Still, I was nervous. There’s so much stigma around nudity, especially when it comes to kids.

No closer to knowing how I would navigate this budding friendship with Tyler and Daniel, I went to say goodnight and he’d already fallen asleep, teeth were brushed, homework was done. He really was a sweet boy, the least I could do was learn more from Daniel’s family.

I called Daniel’s parents the next day.

Mom was warm and surprisingly understanding of my reservations. Here I’d called eager to justify my disdain for her way of life, but she was so disarming that I began to feel like a fool for being so worked up. After talking for a bit I told her I was embarrassed for being so prejudice before I even spoke with her. She laughed and said, “I totally get your hesitation. It took some of our own relatives a while to come around. You’re welcome to come by, see the house, meet us. We never want anyone—kids or parents—to feel uncomfortable.”

So I did.

Their home was full of laughter, toys, and dogs. Their children were incredibly polite and Daniel was absolutely charming, I could understand how he and Tyler became fast-friends. Everyone was clothed when I arrived, and no one made a big deal out of anything. We talked for over an hour. Assuming I'd left, Daniel came out towards the end with nothing on and sat on the arm of the sofa, before falling into his mom's lap, "So can Daniel spend the night?" Their entire interaction looked so natural, she stroked his hair while smiling down at him and while she explained that nudism, to their family, is about comfort, and teaching their kids that bodies are normal—not secret, not dirty, not scary. While I was still a bit uneasy, I couldn't in good faith to Daniel or Tyler, see a reason why I should say no if Tyler was ok with it.

In the end, I said yes and Daniel jumped up and gave me a big side hug before disappearing down the hall.

Plans were made Tyler would go home with Daniel on Friday after school and I’d pick him up on Sunday. He wanted to have a full weekend to explore the Daniel’s neighborhood.

It was funny because during the entire lead-up to this sleepover I hadn’t thought about how Tyler would feel in a nudist neighborhood, just how it made me feel. But as I walked Tyler to the bus I asked where his overnight bag was he answered, “I just packed my toothbrush. Not like I’m going to need a change of clothes.” He answered so comfortably and matter of factly that it made me realize I had been so focused on my fears and concerns and projecting them onto Tyler, that I didn’t even think he may not only not fear the nudist experience, but eagerly embrace it.

"Maybe we should pack some clothes, just in case," I told him, "I can drop them off at school, no problem."

Tyler looked at me, "Mom, I'll be fine."

Regardless, I reminded him that that like every sleepover if he ever felt uncomfortable for any reason, he could call me—no questions asked.

He didn’t call.

In fact, it was Daniel’s parents who texted me reassuring me that Tyler had made it to their home safe. Later they sent me a photo of the two boys standing on a dock holding up a giant fish and smiling from ear to ear, both boys naked as the day they were born. I truly didn’t know Tyler had the nudist life in him. I would’ve thought the photo would’ve had me seeing red, but instead it struck me as idyllic and sweet, like a Norman Rockwell scene of boyhood. Tyler was positively beaming.

When I went to pick Tyler up on Sunday morning the two boys came rolling up on their bikes, wearing only flip-flops and helmets. Both seemed happy as could be. Tyler, who hadn’t been naked outside of a bathroom in a couple of years, came up and gave me the biggest hug. He seemed so happy. I had him gather things and say goodbye and when we got into the car he began filling me in on all of their adventures. “We played flashlight tag, Daniel and I made pancakes for breakfast, the dogs slept in the bed with Daniel and me!”

Tyler’s been back countless times since that weekend and Daniel has come to our house as well. In fact, his mom and I often joke about our joint custody because we seem to alternate who has the boys on the weekend.

When I look at it now I have to confess: Daniel has been the best thing to happen Tyler, not because he is a nudist, but because he is a great human in a great family who all also happen to be a nudist.

While I personally have not adopted the nudist philosophy, I am very comfortable with Tyler’s embracing of it. He does his homework, eats his meals, sleeps, and snuggles on the couch all without a stitch of clothing. It’s actually quite endearing to see him and Daniel playing games, or building blanket forts without a care in the world or the slightest modicum of shame about their bodies.

In the end I realized the fear I felt wasn’t really about Daniel and his family—it was about me. About the things I was taught to be scared of, or the way society taught me to equate nudity with danger or sex. But nudity isn’t the problem. Shame is. Judgment is. Assumption is.

Letting my son go to that sleepover helped me unlearn a little of that. It also allowed him to have a great best friend. It sickens me to think I wanted to sabotage this beautiful thing all because of my own ignorance and fear.